Speaking of 'satire,' I'm trying promote possible cures to Michele Bachmann's unfortunate penchant for embarrassing "The Great State of Minnesota" at every turn. A pre-written Petition to Michele, imploring that she attempt legitimate & diligent remediation to counter-act this condition is enclosed - just copy & paste. Her email address follows: info@michelebachmann.com
Please find the enclosed banner that I hope will become "viral" and will start a massive grassroots "Campaign for Sanity" directed to "aid the dispositions" of other maladaptive misanthropes like the whole Fox News (and friends) - Ann Coulter, Rush Limbaugh, Glen Beck, "No-Spin-Zone" O'Reilly (Oh, Really???) Hannity-Vanity, etc. >>A jpg file, entitled MicheleBachmann_at_Large. >This is then handed out in rallies that Michele attends, to warn her fellow "tea-baggers" of her condition. The hope is that they will then not encourage her to speak... but to just continue eating her chocolate bars... especially if they know the condition is an "acquired" one... of continued exposure to the common attributes of "FMD."
>> Below is the aforementioned "Petition to Michele"- please forward this to as many friends & acquaintances as you can. We need to make a start... for the future of humanity and for the sake of our hard-sought & tenuous "sanity:"
PETITION TO MICHELE:
Dear Representative Bachmann,
Michele, I write to you out of a deepened concern over your past & recent statements made to the American public, while you are clearly suffering from the acquired attributes of SPS. I hope that you are aware that this is a treatable condition, and that you may even come to live what many consider "a life approaching cogency!" However, You do need to commit to the suggested remediation of this "syndrome:"
Recent studies have shown that profuse amounts of ingested chocolate - preferably on a daily basis, but especially on those days on which public appearances dot your calendar, can help to lessen the frequency of radical or delusional thinking. Many concerned citizens such as myself feel that a continuing supply of chocolate bars, free of cost to you, can turn the wretched, abject legacy you have thus far created, into one that will at least be forgiven and given a "benign" classification. Who knows, with continued "chocolate therapy," people will begin to see you as someone who has a soul (worth saving), rather than one who deserves only contempt for the obtuse obstructionism & continuing malefaction for which you are so well known.
For this to happen, you must try to avoid speaking publicly, at all costs... that is, IF truly, you care as to how your home state is perceived nationally. And, if you must give a "presentation," prepare by eating at least five chocolate bars just prior to the engagement... go ahead, gobble them on down.... you need to do this!
Perhaps, one day, we may actually come to believe in your sincerity and give some degree of credence to what you have to say... but that is dependent upon your willingness to ingest the amounts of chocolate required to "somatize" your angry brain. And try to remember that Sarah Palin is just a "chimera;" think of her as an anomalous glitch on your "radar" - who really is NOT someone you want to emulate.
Good luck in you journey back to sanity... believe us, MIchele, it IS something for which your efforts will be rewarded... think of it as every piece of chocolate bringing you one step closer to personal - & social, redemption, and maybe, even heaven!
Sincerely,
[a concerned citizen]
Join "The Campaign for Sanity!" Send donations to 11044 Washington Street NE, Blaine, MN 55434 - along with your email addresses and suggested leaders who need the "chocolate therapy!" How about that "eternal sad-sack," Joe Lieberman?
posted by chreodman at
4:35 PM
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